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Don’t judge a book by its cover they say. Look for inner beauty we are told when selecting a spouse, lover or tax consultant. But these wise words are turned upside down when we judge crunchy tacos. The beauty, strength and crispiness of the outer shell is what defines a good taco. If for any reason the crunchy shell is not crunchy enough then the game is over. If the taco shell feels stale or soft then does it really matter what lies inside? And here Taco Bell wins. They have the crunchiest tacos. Is this a scientific statement? Will I win some kind of science prize in Oslo? Did I kidnap three food critics, took them to a private island by helicopter, blindfolded them, and made them eat all kinds of tacos until they pointed to the one which said Taco Bell? No. I don’t have the resources to do such things. And I wish someone would do that to me. But here’s what I have done. I have gone to Taco Bell at late hours of the night and I have ordered crunchy tacos. Many of them have I eaten under the light of the full moon while singing to it, You are my Chammak Challo. I find them to be more crispy than Chipotle. Yes, I said it. I love Chipotle and their whole Aztec feeling and especially this magnificent God like creature that they have on their wall. But the Taco Bell crunchy taco is unbeatable. Case closed.

I was at McDonald’s when I saw this beautiful picture of gigantic eggs. Due to the large size of the picture, we could really appreciate these grocery items. There really is no room for interpretation. There is nothing metaphorical going on here. You don’t need a brooding art history professor to explain this. The eggs do not represent life. The cheese is not a comment on our existence. The tomatoes does not represent your youth or some forgotten friendship. It is what it is. Eggs surrounded by two tomatoes, mushroom and a chunk of cheese all brightly lit and enlarged for your appreciation as you eat a big mac.

I recently went there to have the green Shamrock shake which reminded me of pistachio. I discovered it is not and they describe it as smooth and creamy mint flavored, topped with whipped cream and a cherry. I decided to go with their frozen strawberry lemonade which is excellent. I sat on a stylish round bench watching a documentary about art theft. This is it! We need affordable inspiring places to exchange ideas. People are responding and showing up with their laptops. And I’m talking about the cool crowd who have complicated hair styles which at first look uncombed but then makes sense if you look carefully. They are migrating from places like Star Bucks and Caribou coffee shops. Is McDonald’s the new cool? Are we experiencing a great cultural revolution where coffee will be combined with chicken nuggets? Yes.

Like all great legends this story also begins at Wegmans. I was in the vegetable section when I saw the most beautiful plant. Butternut Squash. It looked sturdy and had none of the complications of broccoli or the proud carrot. I picked it up and watched with doubts as it came closer and closer to the cashier.

What am I doing? Can I cook this? Why not keep things simple and get frozen pizza? History was watching me from her balcony while smoking a cigarette. She was cynical and had seen everything. According to her, Squash plant is native to the New World. Native Americans grew this plant and ate it before Europeans arrived and started selling it at Wegmans. I came home called up some friends who are Squashians. They assured me that, “you can’t screw this up. It’s very simple. Just cut it up in cubes and throw it in the oven.” One friend was good enough to call me and said “two table spoons of olive oil, salt and pepper is all you need.” I wanted to add Laal Mirch. I wanted to make it spicy. But I overcame that and just stayed with the simple salt and pepper. The results are magnificent and tasty. Just look at that. By the way, I kept the seeds and they add a nice crunch to it.

I was in PF Chang eating chicken dumplings when I noticed that the lady serving us wore a strange ring. Between two red saphires sat an opal which changed colors from blue to white to pink and sometimes even silver. When she brought the chicken nooodle soup I asked her about it. She pointed to it. “It’s powerful, I have to be careful with it…I keep it in water.” When she said this her voice went from boring to warrior princess. It was magic.

I am spontaneous when it comes to McDonald’s and turn sharply towards the drive-thru even if people in the car are shouting that they don’t want it. This morning I went there for hash browns but they had stopped serving the breakfast menu. I adapted to the situation and immediately ordered fish filet with fries and their creamy coffee while people in the car are shouting ‘nothing for me, nothing for me…’ They only deceive themselves because once the food entered the car they ate it gratefully. So don’t make dramatic statements like, ‘I never eat at McDonald’s’ because a time will come when you will. And remember always what James Bond taught us: Never Say Never Again.

The use of yellow is purposeful and energetic like the sun, while the maroon provides an angry contrast. The ribbon like movement is playful but warns us that life has twists and turns, while never really letting us forget that it is not green. We see shades of sky blue peeping through and we wonder is that hope? Specs of white draw us in further into this universe of competing colors… Oh look! A maroon ribbon escapes the frame and ventures outside like a child running free but then returns to the painting reminding us about the many times we tried to cancel Netflix. I call this painting Couch because that’s where it happened.

I wish global warming looked like a bald man in a safari suit smoking a cigar who punishes people by throwing them to alligators while he happily receives a neck massage from a beautiful but captive girl friend. The kind of villain Sir Roger Moore would defeat as James Bond. But sadly our villain appears to us as a documentary, as a graph, as an article filled with many words, as yucky numbers, as Al Gore… We are having difficulties personalizing the problem. It even lacks the decency to belong to one single country where we could bomb the hell out of it.